Apologies!

I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. I've bee on figment, the website I told you about. I almost made it into the top 5 of a contest... but I didn't make it. Too bad, I guess. My name is Astralhaze Wellington and just because I don't know what to write today, I'll post that contest entry.

The beast looked at the world crumbling around it. I searched for guilt on its face but there was none there. Even with the taste of food on its tongue and even in the face of all the horror it'd caused, it was still hungry. Hungry for more. More power. More hurt. The beast is selfish. The beast is heartless. We are its food, we are its playing pieces. The beast knows that now that he has the world it is not a desirable one but he will work on it.
"He worked on it to make it a dream. For him, a beautiful dream. For us, a nightmare. Walking on the lines. Rows of people. A sterile disinfected world. Genetically modified to perfection. The perfect slaves. Slaves for agriculture, slaves for sex, slaves for cooking, slaves for housework. A blank world. Wiped of all personality. Wiped of education. There are the special few. They work for him. They are the police. The slave workers. They are the poison makers. They get a few pleasures. The poison, the poison keeps us under control. Physically fast. Mentally slow.
The beast is happy. The beast did what was best for him. The beast is on top. The poison keeps him there. It doesn't make us happy, though. Just incapable of expressing our depression. I am, though because I don't take the poison. I am daughter of the beast.
I see the pain. I've dealt with his egotism. I feel it everyday. While they're out toiling away in the fields, the bedrooms, the kitchen or around cleaning, I watch. I watch in shame, knowing I'm a product of the same thing that is a product. I would rebel but with whom?
They hate me, I get to live life free of the poison and free of the work. Everyone else hates me because I sympathize with the people they hurt.
I live in a world with no friends. I live in a world with no love.
I write this with a knowledge that the people out there don't have. What's the point of having this knowledge? I can't use it. There are rules against that. If I do use it, I will become poisoned.
This poison is not like the ones we had before the beast took over.  The other poisons, people were allowed to stop. The other poisons, weren't allowed. They didn't make people buff and dumb. They just slowed them down. Today's poison is a different, dangerous one.
I must figure out a way to take charge. Knock my father from his throne. Leave him helpless. But I'd need help. How do I find help? Can I lie? Can I trick? Only time will tell.
Five years later
Time has told. I could trick, I could lie but only for so long. I told them I now saw that what they were doing was the right thing all along, that I believed them, that I would help their cause.
One day, I was trusted with clinic duty (where they dish out the poison). I chose not to give it to some people and instead explained that the beast was controlling their lives with the poison. I planted a seed in their minds which I hoped would do some good after the second part of my plan unfolded.
All this trickery had brought me closer to the beast. Soon after the day at the clinic, I was in the beast's bedroom having a culinary discussion when, I took my opportunity, I edged closer then, pounced.
Four quick stabs to his stomache and then, I slit his throat. He was cold and dead but I felt no regret. Was I like him? I don't think so.
I probably could have gotten away with it, we don't have the best police, but I came clean.
Now, I spend my days inside my tiny cramped prison cell writing. There are papers covering the floor. Words fill the room. These are the ones I've wanted to say most, though.
It may seem as though I have lost the battle but life is slowly getting better outside of this jungle of bars and walls.
Not giving poison that day in the clinic but instead wisdom helped exponentially.
I lost my life, took another and I helped heal the world but I am still left with the question: Am I a bad person?"

 So, what do you think? Should it have made top 5?
Now, I guess I have to talk about christmas. It's still fresh in my mind but I'm christmas crashing. So, what did you get? What did you do? Did you do any Boxing Day shopping?
I got the new iPod nano. That was my "big" present. Along with a bunch of other stuff. I spent christmas with my family. I did go boxing day shopping I got four CDs (Strawberry Jam-Animal Collective, Time to Pretend EP-MGMT, Manners-Passion Pit, Person Pitch-Panda Bear), a pair of blue cords, and Identical by Ellen Hopkins.
Here's a little rant I wrote:
"A free rant! That might make me so happy I don't want to rant! But since I've got the opportunity, I must! I can't find my book Identical. I hate when I lose books but I was asleep what was I supposed to do. I have to take advantage of sleep when it comes because it's not that often. But my mom had to wake me up and ask me if I wanted to go shopping... but not for me! Shopping for my younger brother and father. Of course, I was to stunned to think clearly and I said sure. That was three hours of time wasted and not time well wasted! I just thought of an album I should have bought while I could. Pyschic Chasms by Neon Indian. And fucking HMV didn't have any LCD Soundsystem. I don't know whether or not I should do the english project.
Do I have a life? I wish I did. I'm just some bored loser that sits at home ranting to random strangers.
That was my rant."
I was given a free rant.
I think that's a full blog post. So, so long!

"Am I really all the things that are outside of me?"

Have you ever wondered what makes who we are? Have you ever wondered if every single peice of you is created and made up of what you surround yourself with? What would we talk about with out the arts? Without science? Without sports? What are we? Questions like these swirl around my mind on a daily basis. How about you?
I think that these are things everyone wonders at some point in time. If you haven't yet, well I'm glad to have gotten you started. That is, if there's anyone out there reading this but it's okay if there's not.
I'm cold because winter's here and I miss summer so much. There are a few magic months of they year which are summer. Summer to me, is an amazing time of the year. Summer is warm and colourful. I can go to the bluesfest. I can lie in the sun. I'm not a shorts kinda girl but I can wear short sleeved shirts. I can wash my pig in buttermilk. I can do whatever I want. Summer is freedom. I can just be me. It's not because I'm not in school (but that helps). It's because it's warm. Magical warmth. Daylight never ends. I can sleep through days and stay up at night. There are fireworks. Summer music is the best.
So, chill out, listen to some Beach House and do whatever you feel like.

Advertising, Celebritie... that's about it

This is going to be a quick post. Just me reaching out to whoever's out there. Who do you think sells a product (The product is breath-freshening alchohol)? It's for a project in english class. We had to create a print ad for something that was bad for us. So, got any ideas?

Figment

Just found a cool new website called figment.com. It's basically a place for writers to talk and publish their works EXCEPT it's exclusively for teens. Why does this matter? Maybe because we're less accepted in the writing community.
And.... OH NO! I must go. Fallout by Ellen Hopkins is calling, the shower is calling, my guitar is calling, my bed is calling.
What you're left with today?
Two things.... sort of, which is better?
Original
Or
Fun-jokey cover

Ponytail

I'm at home sick today and I have to say I'm thankful. I am legitimately sick but I needed a day to just breathe. I've been feeling empty lately. It's a hard feeling to describe but that's what I call it. I didn't want to do anything, I didn't really have any emotions other than confusion, and I just felt stranded but that's what today should cure.
I wasn't going to go on the computer today but I needed to listen to some Panda Bear and I thought I should update my blog. Those were the only things I wanted to do. At all. Now that I'm doing both I think I'm getting back to normal but there's still a lot of empty space. There must be want swimming around in that empty space somewhere. I just need to try extra hard to find it today. This blog post is not what it normally would be but instead the act of me reaching inside of myself trying to find something in all that nothing. With eyes closed, I try and search but it is just so hard. What is there? A pit, I see glimmers of lights and colours but otherwise it is a blackhole and we know that eventually that blackhole will suck in the light and the colour.
Good bye, Happy. Goodbye, Sad.
Quote of the day (not going to be regular but who cares):  "Music owes nothing to nobody. WE owe music everything"- Youtube user
Song of the day (and explanation for the title): Ponytail by Panda Bear
Am I back in my blogging groove?

Miss me? Didn't think so.

Obviously, it's been awhile since I last posted. Not that much has happened. I've been to New York and I'm learning the first song that I actually enjoy on guitar. That's about it.
Did limewire still exist last time I posted? I miss it. So much. Limewire wasn't really taking money out of the music business. People would pay to see more live shows instead.
Here's what I'm thinking now:
What is a letter? It's a shape but it's so much more. It's weird. I wrote most of this an hour ago so, I'm not in the same place as where I started.
I'm listening to AnCo interviews... I love them so much. They're really good. In case you're not aware of what AnCo means, it's Animal Collective.
Well, I didn't have much to say but I need something just to get me in the groove.

Just a poem I wrote, I haven't named it yet

Touch up your makeup,
Make up your cover up,
Slip into that pick up,
And together,
Shoot up

My dream life.

Does anyone else have a life in their mind? One that they like to pretend they live sometimes? Maybe before you go to sleep? Or when your in class and you just can't concentrate? I sure do. I try to avoid thinking about in class because I might get carried away and that could get in the way of learning. I'm someone who does their best in school and generally, I actually want to learn (gasp!).
In my dream life, I am the same height (5'8")  but I am the bony sort of skinny that some people are creeped slightly out by (not all hunched, though). I am also My hair is brown and jaw length. It's shaggy. I have the cheekbone stucture of Sara from Tegan and Sara. I live in New York City. I have a career as a journalist. I am incredibly musically talented. I am charismatic. I bit my nails a lot. My name is Frances. I don't wear makeup (not a big difference). I have a super cool apartment. Posters for bands (cool ones, (duh?), paintings, chalk boards, antiques, weird doll collection (that I have),  records, think "Juno".
That's my small fantasy, I've admitted it. This does tie back a little to my last post and it is partially meant to because what triggered the admittance of this was that but it's the same person so, all my posts are going to be related in some minor way.

My body.

My body is close enough to the ideal body. I'm not the muscular (or at all muscular) but I have, how do I put this, larger breasts (?) and slender-ish figure and yet I still get criticism. Apparently, I look trashy in everything. Apparently, what I want to wear is more suited to flat-chested people. People say it's okay to be overweight, not to feel self-conscience. But it's fine to stay stuff about me based on my body type? Obviously.
I'd write more. Scratch that. I'll write more but it's dinner time and I like my food.

Beauty and brains

Beauty and Brains. Do they go together (like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong)? In some cases they do but hardly ever, it sounds stupid but why bother with knowledge when you can get by being beautiful? There are some very beautiful, very smart people so maybe I don't know what I'm saying.
What I'm trying to say is, I'm smart. I'm not pretty. When you're smart but not pretty, it sort of makes up for it, just a tiny bit. When I say that I don't mean to say to say I'm not itching to be beautiful, itching to look different, itching to jump out of my skin and into one of someone who is gorgeous. It doesn't mean that at all. It means that at least I know I'm not ugly and stupid. It means I have a slight chance to make it in life. Let's face it, good looks make a big affect on girls life, we're still objects in the minds of many. I'm not going to ignore that fact. It's still a man's world, women just have a bigger voice then they used to. I got a little off topic but what I was trying to say is, I've gotten used to being smart not pretty.
What's your opinion on this topic? Can people even post comments on my blog? Or do they just think it's stupid? Do you think I'm smart? Am I alone in my silly little concerns?
One day, my life issues will be resolved by an easy death (or I hope so). Which has now got me prepared for another short rampage.
Why is everyone so scared of death? If you believe in reincarnation, you just come back to life. If you believe in heaven, you'll do what you can to get there and then, go there after death. If you're atheist, you don't go anywhere, you just become one with the world. So, what's the big deal? Nothing bad happens after death if you've lived life right no matter what your opinion is on what does happen after death. I am a Pastafarian, I'm not quite sure what happens after death but I'm trying to find out.
Well, thank you for reading, I don't think you need to read more of what I have to say for today but I have more to say so expect a post tomorrow.

Where have I been?

Where have I been? Here, there and everywhere (I love clichés). I really have been busy. Not busy, busy but busy for me. You wouldn't understand.
I hope you had a great thanksgiving canadians!
I'm having trouble getting back in the blogging groove. That'll be what I'll write about for now.
Have you ever had trouble getting back in the blog writing groove?
How do you get used to it again?
Do the words just eventually come to you if you wait patiently enough?
I ask a lot of questions but I don't get a lot of answers or any at all, in fact.
Well, let me tell you about my sims game. I'm playing Sims 3, right now. It's a family of five. Two children. Three young adults. Cheats used (extremely well). Two parents. Three children of the two parents. Three males. Two females. Not especially far along in their careers. Any of them. What I'm trying to do is get this guy and this girl to... never mind. You don't care.
Well, that's all for today, Voices readers.
Bye Bye Bye,
Adelaide

Very Brief.

This hopefully won't be my only post today but I needed to tell you about this straight away.
White Sky by Vampire Weekend  
Also, if you ever think there's something I would like to listen to or just something that you're really enjoying at the moment, suggest it.

Sometimes, I wish

"Sometimes, I wish I could just get it right."-City and Colour
Sometimes, I find myself wondering why life is worth living. I'm not happy where I am, I don't feel good, I feel cold and unwanted. I'm not important. BUT THAT'S MY POINT! I have to take all those negative thoughts and make them my motivation. You're not happy? Go out into the world and make yourself happy. You don't feel good? Comfort yourself. You feel cold, unwanted, unimportant? Change that!
I'm a sad person. I've learned to deal with this fact. There are things about yourself that aren't necessarily good. You have to learn to deal with them. There are some things that you just can't change. Deal with it! Don't try to pep yourself, don't try to blow your brains out studying, don't get plastic surgery! Deal with your imperfections.
Well, it's been short. I have a lot to add tomorrow but I really needed to get my thoughts down straight away and leave no time for taking back my words. They are the truth. I think about suicide. A lot. Everyday. I used to think of it more, though. And then, I learned what to say to myself. Learned what to do, try to make a difference in someone's life even if it's just mine.

Being Negative

I figured it was acceptable to write again because my last post was so short. I'm listening to a live recording of Yeasayer's song, O.N.E. I have more to talk about. I've been thinking that much recently. I really want to write on here as much as possible.
My topic for now, negativity and pessimism. Why is it so great? Because in the land of Pessimists there is no such thing as disappointment. There are many reasons to be both. I personally am a bit of a pessimist. Which do you find better? Why? Which are you? Are they both legitimate groups? Does it change over time? Or is it just how you're wired?
I keep asking questions and getting no response. But one day (or at least I tell myself this), someone will comment. It probably won't happen any time soon and it won't be a frequent occurence but if I keep writing someone's going to notice eventually, I hope.
 This is probably boring you so, I'll leave you with the empty space and,
Bye, Bye, Bye

Smell

Three posts. Three days. You're luck has improved greatly. I have stuffs to say today.
"I take in a feverish breath. A familiar smell rushes over me. It's a person, I know that much. I look around the room to see who it might be. It's smells like weathered leather. Who is this person?" It's a sentence I wrote in science class. I was feeling sick.
So, my question to you is, have you ever recognized someone's scent but not been able to identify who it is? If you have, you know how maddening it is! Not knowing is completely maddening, anyways.
I would write more but I'm getting yelled at by my older brother.
Here's something to listen to:
Diplomat's Son by Vampire Weekend

Two days in a row. You must be feeling pretty special. After doing all my homework and studying, I feel that I have the right to take a rest before getting into my housework. I am currently listening to Passion Pit's remix of Bruises by Chairlift. It's great but MGMT's remix of their song Evident Utensil is even better.
What do I tell you? It's Sunday but that doesn't mean anything to me except that it's the weekend and the day where I do the most housework. I'm atheist and I've got enough balls to admit it. I don't know about where you live but where I am, there's a lot of people that say "I'm Catholic but I don't believe in god and I don't go to church." Every time someone says that I can't help but wonder, at what point are you part of a religion? How do you classify yourself as part of a whole?
I've always had issues with that sort of thing. At what point do you change from one thing to another? There are something where there's a set number, or point e.g. from child to teenager, from grade 5 to grade 6 but there are some things you just don't know e.g. from acquaintance to friend or what makes you part of a religion. At some point, you know for sure but what about the in between? I'm hopeless.
I have other things to talk about to now. It's not something you're going to want to read probably but I need some suggestions. How do blogs get attention? Do I just update frequently? I know if I talk about highly searched things I might get a few more views but that's not what I want to do. I want to write about what I feel like writing about. If that doesn't interest you, that's your problem. Updating frequently I'm fine with, though. If there's anything else I can do to get attention please tell me about it, dear reader that currently doesn't exist.
By the way, there will always be some extra space at the end of my post. I need to have some extra space just to feel more free or something, it's just how my mind works. I don't bother trying to understand myself after five minutes most of the time. I don't really need to bother coming up with some long reason because it's how the mind works and there's no explaining that.

Speak Loudly

I don't know if you've heard about Wesley Scroggins, a professor at Missouri State University. He refers to the book, Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson (a book about the effects being raped had on a teenage girl), as soft pornography. He targets other books, too, but his arguments against Speak are the ones that have caused a stir. Rape is not porn, and the fact that he sees it as so, disgusts me and many others including Laurie Halse Anderson. What do you think about censorship?

Things to check out this week:
1. Top 100 Canadian Songs: A list for a book by Bob Mersereau, I am very mad that Randy Bachman topped the list because he's so cocky already and Neil Young.

2. What to do when your bored: I really couldn't think of anything.

3. One on One with Ronnie from Jersey Shore: A hilarious interview with Ronnie from Jersey Shore. I hate Jersey Shore but it's still funny.

Listening to Reviews.

I have recently developed a love of listening to reviews. At the moment, I'm listening to a review of Embryonic by the Flaming Lips. It's a positive review. Which is something I'm happy about. But I was wondering: is being negative in a review okay? Watch this then tell me what you think. It's a speech by Chris R. Weingarten about being a critic and how blogs are killing music. It also talks about stumble culture.
I also found a link to a hilarious song called Pizza Party By L'Homme Run. What do you think about it? Are there any funny songs you like?
I'm trying to make this blog more interesting (and get someone to notice it). What do you like in blogs? Any suggestions are helpful.
Top 3 things to check out on youtube this week:
1. Sergio's White Hot Top 5: Sergio Cilli takes a look at what's popular this week and then mocks them.

2. The Needle Drop: Reviews of Music.


3. An early MGMT song, Boogie Down: It's an early MGMT song and it's an amazing live performance. They are going insane..

I thought I'd show you something!

I don't know how this works but hopefully it does like the little image in my head.
This is one of the best songs ever, I think. Just listen to it. Maybe you'll understand the pure magic of it. Maybe you're into boy bands or maybe you're into death metal but this is something I find amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00KBHNy4kW4&feature=related

Day 2 of my blog and yet I feel inclined to write more

After reading my first post, you were probably wondering, why do I care what this girl's saying? But I promise you it's normal to be interested in others lives. Yes, it's creepy. Yes, it's weird. But in the end it is normal, to an extent. I don't want to see anyone peeking through my window at night because I said it's normal to be interested in others lives. I will call the cops.
But since you're so interested in my life, I'll tell you about what I like. Music, that's what I like. I know everyone likes music but not like I do. I love music. I'd die for music.
Who do I like to listen to, you're now wondering. Well, lucky you, I'm going to tell you. I love MGMT. They are my favourite band right now. Dallas Green aka City and Colour is my favourite solo artist. I also like Tegan and Sara, Mother Mother, Metric, the Flaming Lips, Florence and the Machine, Matt and Kim, Yeasayer, Animal Collective, the Killers, the Wooden Sky, the Morning Benders, the New Pornographers, Muse, and many more.
I don't play any instruments right now but I'm learning guitar and I used to play piano.
Well, that's all I'll reveal today.
Bye Bye Bye

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog! This has just been made as a place for me to write publicly but without the people I don't want seeing it being able to see it. Whether I'll ever write in it is unknown but I thought I should give myself a chance to write.
So, what do you want to know about me? My name is Adelaide and you don't need to know my age or where I'm located. I like to read, write and take pictures. I hate exercising because I'm lazy. I am currently taking part in a writing challenge called WFMAD. So maybe, I'll write more often this month then normally. You should know that I regret putting my name on here and if anyone should happen to read this blog, I hope they are kind enough to realize I'm not worth stalking.
Someday, maybe I'll tell you guys about my writing projects.
Bye Bye Bye